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Lyrics

Lyrics to existing and original songs/poems for the show are listed here alphabetically by title. See our other lyrics page to see them sorted by episode number.

"Born Free"

Music by John Barry, lyrics by Don Black, 1966
(Sung by Felix)

Born free, as free as the wind blows
As free as the grass grows
Born free to follow your heart

Live free and beauty surrounds you
The world still astounds you
Each time you look at a star

Stay free, where no walls divide you
You're free as the roaring tide
So there's no need to hide

Born free, and life is worth living
But only worth living
'cause you're born free

(Stay free, where no walls divide you)
You're free as the roaring tide
So there's no need to hide

Born free, and life is worth living
But only worth living
'cause you're born free

Episodes: 
095 "The Frog"

"Cocktails For Two"

Music by Arthur Johnston, lyrics by Sam Coslow, 1934
(Oscar, and later Felix, sang a few lines in episode 62)
(Felix sang this with his band, the Sophisticatos, in episode 98)

Oh what delight to be given the right
To be carefree and gay once again
No longer slinking, respectfully drinking
Like civilized ladies and men

No longer need we miss
A charming scene like this:

In some secluded rendezvous
That overlooks the avenue
With someone sharing a delightful chat
Of this and that
And cocktails for two

As we enjoy a cigarette
To some exquisite chansonnette
Two hands are sure to slyly meet beneath
A serviette
With cocktails for two

My head may go reeling
But my heart will be obedient
With intoxicating kisses
For the principal ingredient

Most any afternoon at five
We'll be so glad we're both alive
Then maybe fortune will complete her plan
That all began
With cocktails for two

Episodes: 
062 "I Gotta Be Me"
098 "Strike Up the Band...or Else"

"Football Hero"

(Sung by Felix)

You got to be a football hero
To get along with the beautiful girls
You got to be a touchdown-getter, you bet
If you want to get somebody to pet

The fact that you are rich or handsome
Won't get you anything in curls
You got to be a football hero
To get along with the beautiful
Along with the beautiful
Along with the beautiful
Along with the beautiful girls

Episodes: 
089 "A Different Drummer"

"Give My Regards to Broadway"

Music and lyrics by George M. Cohan, 1904
(Felix sang a few lines of this song in episode 106)
(It was also sung in episode 100)

At a port in France one morning,
Waiting for my ship to sail,
Yankee soldiers on a furlough
Came to get the latest mail;
I told them I was on my way
To old Manhattan Isle;
They all gathered about,
As the vessel pulled out,
And said, with a smile:

Give my regards to Broadway,
Remember me to Herald Square,
Tell all the gang at Forty-Second Street,
That I will soon be there;
Whisper of how I'm yearning
To mingle with the old time throng,
Give my regards to old Broadway,
And say that I'll be there e'er long.

Say hello to dear old Coney Isle,
If there you chance to be,
When you're at the Waldorf have a smile,
And charge it up to me;
Mention my name ev'ry place you go,
As 'round the town you roam;
Wish you'd call on my gal,
Now remember, old pal,
When you get back home:

Give my regards to Broadway,
Remember me to Herald Square,
Tell all the gang at Forty-Second Street,
That I will soon be there;
Whisper of how I'm yearning
To mingle with the old time throng,
Give my regards to old Broadway,
And say that I'll be there e'er long.

Episodes: 
100 "The Subway Show"
106 "Two on the Aisle"

"Golden Earrings"

Music and lyrics by Victor Young, Jay Livingston and Ray Evans, 1947
(Sung by Felix)

There's a story the gypsies know is true,
That when your love wears golden earrings he belongs to you.
An old love story that's known to very few,
But if you wear these golden earrings, love will come to you.
By the burning fire, they will glow with every coal.
You will hear desire whisper low inside your soul.
So be my gypsy, make love your guiding light,
And let this pair of golden earrings cast their spell tonight.

Episodes: 
038 "And Leave the Greyhound to Us"

"How Do You Do?"

1924, new lyrics 1929
(Sung by Felix and guest star David Steinberg. Although Felix refers to the song as being by "The Happiness Boys" - referring to the 1924 version - what they sang in this episode was the 1929 version.)

1924 version:

How do you do, everybody, how do you do?
How are you, everybody, how are you?

We are here we must confess just to bring you happiness.
Hope we please you more or less

How do you doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle do?

1929 version:

How do you do, everybody, how do you do?
How are you everybody, how are you?
We're Billy Jones and Ernie Hare
We're the interwoven pair

How do you doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle do?

Episodes: 
033 "The Odd Couple Meet their Host"

"I Believe"

by Edwin Drake, Irvin Graham, Jimmy Shirl, Al Stillman
(Sung by Felix)

I believe for every drop of rain that falls A flower grows
I believe that somewhere in the darkest night A candle glows
I believe for everyone who goes astray, someone will come
To show the way I believe, I believe

I believe above a storm the smallest prayer Can still be heard
I believe that someone in the great somewhere Hears every word

Everytime I hear a new born baby cry, Or touch a leaf or see the sky
Then I know why, I believe

Everytime I hear a new born baby cry, Or touch a leaf or see the sky
Then I know why, I believe

Episodes: 
095 "The Frog"

"If Ever I Would Leave You"

Words by Alan J. Lerner, Music by Frederick Loewe (from Camelot, 1960)
(Guest star Richard Fredericks sang part of this song)

If ever I would leave you
It wouldn't be in summer.
Seeing you in summer, I never would go.
Your hair streaked with sun-light,
Your lips red as flame,
Your face witha luster
That puts gold to shame!

But if I'd ever leave you,
It couldn't be in autumn.
How I'd leave in autumn I never will know.
I've seen how you sparkle
When fall nips the air.
I know you in autumn
And I must be there.

And could I leave you
running merrily through the snow?
Or on a wintry evening
when you catch the fire's glow?

If ever I would leave you,
How could it be in spring-time?
Knowing how in spring I'm bewitched by you so?
Oh, no! not in spring-time!
Summer, winter or fall!
No, never could I leave you at all!

Episodes: 
031 "Does Your Mother Know You're Out, Rigoletto?"

"Jeepers Creepers"

Lyrics by Johnny Mercer, Music by Harry Warren, 1938
(Sung by Felix with his band, the Sophisticatos)

Jeepers, creepers, where'd ya get those peepers?
Jeepers, creepers, where'd ya get those eyes?
Gosh all, git up, how'd they get so lit up?
Gosh all, git up, how'd they get that size?
Golly gee! When you turn those heaters on,
Woe is me, got to put my cheaters on.
Jeepers, creepers, where'd ya get those peepers?
Oh, those weepers, how they hypnotize!
Where'd ya get those eyes?

Episodes: 
098 "Strike Up the Band...or Else"

"Just One More Chance"

Music by Arthur Johnston, lyrics by Sam Coslow, 1935
(Felix said that this was his and Gloria's song, and played part of it on a record.)

Just one more chance
To prove it''s you alone I care for
Each night I say a little prayer for
Just one more chance

Just one more night
To taste the kisses that enchant me
I''d want no others if you''d grant me
Just one more chance

I''ve learned the meaning of repentance
Now you''re the jury at my trial
I know that I should serve my sentence
Still, I''m hoping all the while
You''ll give me

Just one more word
I said that I was glad to start out
But now I''m back to cry my heart out
For just one more chance

We spend our lives in groping for happiness
I found it once and tossed it aside
I paid for it with hours of loneliness

I''ve nothing to hide
I''d bury my pride for...
Just one more chance
Just one more chance

I''ve learned the meaning of repentance
Now you''re the jury at my trial
I know that I should serve my sentence
Still, I''m hoping all the while
You''ll give me

Just one more word
I said that I was glad to start out
But now I''m back to cry my heart out
For just one more chance

Episodes: 
017 "Engrave Trouble"

"Laugh, Clown, Laugh"

Music by Ted Fiorito, lyrics by Samuel M. Lewis and Joseph Young, 1928
(Sung by Felix)

As performed on the show:

Life is a play and we all play a part
The lover, the dreamer, the clown
The dreamer and lover are always in tears
The clown spreads sunshine around
The life with a smile is the life worthwhile
So clown, till the curtain comes down...

Even though you're only make-believing
Laugh, clown, laugh
Even though something inside is grieving
Laugh, clown, laugh
[singing in Italian] Laugh, clown...

[speaking]The world is a masquerade and we all have our own masks to wear
The rich man pretends he is happy
And the pauper pretends he don't care
My mask is all worn out with tear drops
And at night, when it's placed on the shelf
I may make the world think I'm merry
But I can't hide the truth from myself

So no matter how much it may hurt
I must keep on acting, acting, acting!
[singing in Italian] Laugh, clown... [laughs]

The real lyrics:

Life is a play and we all play a part
The Lover, the Dreamer, the Clown
The Dreamer and Lover are always in tears
The Clown spreads sunshine around
The life with a smile is the life worthwhile
The Clown till the curtain comes down

Even though you're only make believing
Laugh, Clown, laugh!
Even though something inside is grieving
Laugh, Clown, laugh!
Don't let your heart grow too mellow
Just be a real Punchinello, fellow

You're supposed to brighten up a place
And laugh, Clown, laugh!
Paint a lot of smiles around your face
And laugh, Clown, don't frown
Dressed in your best coloured humour
Be a pallietto and laugh, Clown, laugh!

Episodes: 
113 "Laugh, Clown, Laugh"

"Little Grass Shack"

Lyrics by Bill Cogswell, Music by Tommy Harrison & Johnny Noble, 1933
(Sung by Felix and Murray)

I want to go back to little grass shack
In Kealakekua, Hawaii
I want to be with all the kanes and wahines
That I used to know long ago

I can hear the old guitars playing
On the beach at Hônaunau
I can hear the old Hawaiians saying
Komo mai no kâua i ka hale welakahao

It won't be long till my ship will be sailing
Back to Kona
A grand old place
That's always fair to see

I'm just a little Hawaiian
And a homesick island boy
I want to go back to my fish and poi

I want to go back to my little grass shack
In Kealakekua, Hawaii
Where the Humuhumu, Nukunuku a puaa goes swimming by
Where the Humuhumu, Nukunuku a puaa goes swimming by.

Episodes: 
064"Myrna's Debut"

"Little Orphan Annie"

(This was the theme to the Little Orphan Annie Radio Show, from 1931 to 1940. Sung by Felix and guest star David Steinberg.)

Who's that little chatter box?
The one with pretty auburn locks?
Whom do you see?
It's Little Orphan Annie!

She and Sandy make a pair
They never seem to have a care!
Cute little she,
It's Little Orphan Annie

Bright eyes, cheeks a rosy glow,
There's a store of healthiness handy.
Mite-size, always on the go,
If you want to know--"Arf," it's Sandy!

Always wears a sunny smile,
Now, wouldn't it be worth the while,
If you could be
Like Little Orphan Annie?

Episodes: 
033 "The Odd Couple Meet their Host"

"Look For The Silver Lining"

Music by Jerome Kern, lyrics by Buddy DeSylva, 1920
(First few lines sung by Felix)

Look for the silver lining
When e're a cloud appears in the blue
Remember somewhere the sun is shining
And so the right thing to do
Is make it shine for you

A heart full of joy and gladness
Will always banish sadness and strife
So always look for the silver lining
And try to find the sunny side of life

Episodes: 
052 "The Odd Monks"

"Mountain Dew"

Original music and lyrics by Bascom L. Lunsford, mid-1930s.
New lyrics adapted by Lulu Belle and Scott Wiseman, circa 1939.
(Sung by guest star Roy Clark)

There's a big hollow tree down the road here from me
Where you lay down a dollar or two
You stroll 'round the bend and you come back again
There's a jug full of good old mountain dew

Chorus:
They call it that mountain dew
And them that refuse it are few
I'll hush up my mug if you fill up my jug
With that good old mountain dew

My uncle Mort, he's sawed off and short
He measures about four foot two
But he thinks he's a giant when you give him a pint
Of that good old mountain dew

Chorus

Well, my old aunt June bought some brand new perfume
If had such a sweet smelling pew
But to her surprise when she had it analyzed
It was nothing but good old mountain dew

Chorus

Well, my brother Bill's got a still on the hill
Where he runs off a gallon or two
The buzzards in the sky get so drunk they can't fly
From smelling that good old mountain dew

Episodes: 
111 "The Roy Clark Show"

"My Blue Heaven"

Music by Walter Donaldson, lyrics by George Whiting, 1927
(Sung by Felix)

As performed on the show:

When whippoorwills call (they're callin')
Evening is nigh (I'm fallin')
Hurry to my blue heaven.
Turn to the right, a little white light,
Leads you to my blue heaven.

You see a smiling face, a fireplace, a cozy room,
A little nest, nestled where (and there goes Molly with the broom)
Molly and me, baby makes three,
Happy in my Blue Heaven.
(Molly and the baby and the broom and me) Yeah!

The original lyrics:

When Whippoorwills call and evening is nigh
I hurry to my blue heaven
A turn to the right, a little white light
Will lead you to my blue heaven

You'll see a smiling face, a fireplace, a cozy room
A little nest that's nestled where the roses bloom
Just Molly and me and baby makes three
We're happy in my blue heaven

Episodes: 
089 "A Different Drummer"

"My Time is Your Time"

Music by Leo Dance, lyrics by Eric Little, 1924
(Sung by Felix. This was Rudy Vallee's theme song for his radio show, The Fleischmann's Yeast Hour. These lyrics were transcribed from the episode and may not be the complete lyrics.)

My time is your time
Your time is my time
There's no time like our time
And no one like you

Episodes: 
024 "Trapped"

"One Hour With You"

Music by Richard A. Whiting, lyrics by Leo Robin, 1932, from a movie of the same name
(Originally from a 1932 movie of the same name, it became Eddie Cantor's closing theme for his radio shows. Oscar, Felix, and David Steinberg sang part of it.)

I love to spend this hour with you
As friend to friend, I'm sorry it's through
I'm telling you just how I feel
I hope that you feel so, too.

Episodes: 
033 "The Odd Couple Meet their Host"

"Peg O' My Heart"

Music by Fred Fisher, lyrics by Alfred Bryan, 1913
(One line sung by Felix)

Peg o' my heart, I love you
We'll never part for I love you
Dear little girl, sweet little girl
Sweeter than the Rose of Erin
It's the shamrock we'll be sharing

Peg o' my heart, your glances
My Irish heart entrances
Come be my own
Come make your home
In my heart

Episodes: 
054"The Odd Couples"

"People"

(Sung by guest star Marilyn Horne)

People
People who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world,
We're children, needing other children
And yet letting our grown-up pride
Hide all the need inside,
Acting more like children
Than children.
Lovers are very special people,
They're the luckiest people
In the world.

With one person, one very special person
A feeling deep in your soul
Says you were half,
Now you're whole.
No more hunger and thirst
But first be a person
Who needs people.
People who need people
Are the luckiest people
In the world!

With one person, one very special person
A feeling deep in your soul
Says you were half,
Now you're whole.
No more hunger and thirst
But first be a person
Who needs people.

People who need people
Are the luckiest people
In the world!

Episodes: 
087 "Vocal Girl Makes Good"

"Smile"

Music by Charles Chaplin, 1936
Lyrics by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons, 1954
(Sung by Felix)

Smile, though your heart is aching,
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky,
You'll get by
If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile, and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
For you

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear
May be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just smile.

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just smile

Episodes: 
026 "Felix's Wife's Boyfriend"

"Stumbling"

Music and lyrics by Zez Confrey, 1922
(Sung by Felix and later, guest star Monty Hall)

'Tention folks, speak of jokes, this is one on me,
Took my gal to a dance at the Armory
Music played, dancers swayed, then we joined the crowd,
I can't dance, took a chance, and right then we started:

Stumbling all around, stumbling all around,
Stumbling all around, so funny!
Stumbling here and there,
Stumbling ev'rywhere
And I must declare
I stepped right on her toes, and when she bumped my nose
I fell and when I rose, I felt ashamed, and told her:

That's the latest step, that's the latest step,
That's the latest step, my honey!
Notice all the pep, notice all the pep, notice all the pep,
She said, "Stop mumbling, tho' you are stumbling
I like it just a little bit, just a little bit, quite a little bit."

Young and small, short and tall, folks most ev'rywhere,
Take a chance, do this dance, they think it's a bear,
People rave and they crave just to do this step,
Off they go, nice and slow, when the band starts playing:

Stumbling all around, stumbling all around,
Stumbling all around, so funny!
Stumbling here and there,
Stumbling ev'rywhere
And I must declare
I stepped right on her toes, and when she bumped my nose
I fell and when I rose, I felt ashamed, and told her:

That's the latest step, that's the latest step,
That's the latest step, my honey!
Notice all the pep, notice all the pep, notice all the pep,
She said, "Stop mumbling, tho' you are stumbling
I like it just a little bit, just a little bit, quite a little bit."

Episodes: 
089 "A Different Drummer"

"Sweet Mystery Of Life"

(A few lines sung by Felix)

Ah! Sweet Mystery Of Life, At Last I've Found Thee!
Ah! I Know At Last The Secret Of It All!
All The Longing, Seeking, Striving, Waiting, Yearning,
The Burning Hopes, The Joy And Idle Tears That Fall!

For 'tis Love, And Love Alone, The World Is Seeking;
And 'tis Love, And Love Alone That Can Repay!
'tis The Answer, 'tis The End And All Of Living,
For It Is Love Alone That Rules For Aye!

Ah! Sweet Mystery Of Life, At Last I've Found Thee!
Ah! I Know At Last The Secret Of It All!
'tis The Answer, 'tis The End And All Of Living!
For It Is Love Alone That Rules For Aye!

For 'tis Love, And Love Alone, The World Is Seeking;
And 'tis Love, And Love Alone That Can Repay!
'tis The Answer, 'tis The End And All Of Living,
For It Is Love Alone That Rules For Aye!

Episodes: 
068 "The Oddyssey Couple"

"Sweet Sue"

Music by Victor Young, lyrics by Will J. Harris
(Sung by Felix and guest star Monty Hall)

As performed on the show:

Everyone it seems
Ever shares my dreams
'Cause without you dear
I don't know what I'd do

In this heart of mine
You live all the time
Sweet Sue, just you
Be-be-beep bop-bop
And kiss me Sue

The original lyrics:

Ev'ry little star above
Knows the one I love
Sweet Sue, just you

And the moon on high
Knows the reason why
Sweet Sue, it's you

No one else it seems
Ever shares my dreams
And without you dear
I don't know what I'd do

In this heart of mine
You live all the time
Sweet Sue, just you

(Ev'ry star above
Knows the one I love)
It's you, Sweet Sue

(And the moon on high
Knows the reason why)
It's you, Sweet Sue

No one else it seems
Ever shares my dreams
And without you dear
I don't know what I'd do

In this heart of mine
You live all the time
Sweet Sue, just you

Episodes: 
089 "A Different Drummer"

"Tumbling Tumbleweeds"

Music and lyrics by Bob Nolan, 1934
(Felix sang part of this song with his group, Red River Unger & the Saddle Sores)

See them tumbling down
They're pledging their love to the ground
Lonely but free I'll be found
Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds

All the cares
Have been left behind
Nowhere to go but I'll find
Just where the trail will wind
Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds

I know when night has gone
That new worlds falling down
I'll keep running alone
Deep in my heart there's a song
Here on the ridge I belong
Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds
Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds

I'll keep running along
Deep in my heart there's a song
Here on the ridge I belong
Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds
Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds
Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds
Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds

Episodes: 
098 "Strike Up the Band...or Else"

"Yesterday When I Was Young"

Music and original French lyrics by Charles Aznavour
English lyrics by Herbert Kretzmer, 1965
(sung by guest star Roy Clark)

As performed on the show:

Yesterday when I was young
So many happy songs were waiting to be sung
So many wild pleasures lay in store for me
And so much pain my dazzled eyes refused to see
There are so many songs in me that won't be sung
I feel the bitter taste of tears upon my tongue
The time has come for me to pay for yesterday
When I was young

The complete lyrics:

Yesterday, when I was young,
The taste of life was sweet as rain upon my tongue,
I teased at life as if it were a foolish game,
The way the evening breeze may tease a candle flame

The thousand dreams I dreamed, the splendid things I planned,
I always built, alas, on weak and shifting sand,
I lived by night and shunned the naked light of day,
And only now I see how the years ran away

Yesterday, when I was young,
So many happy songs were waiting to be sung,
So many wild pleasures lay in store for me,
And so much pain my dazzled eyes refused to see

I ran so fast that time and youth at last ran out,
I never stopped to think what life was all about,
And every conversation I can now recall,
Concerned itself with me, and nothing else at all

Yesterday, the moon was blue,
And every crazy day brought something new to do,
I used my magic age as if it were a wand,
And never saw the worst and emptiness beyond

The game of love I played with arrogance and pride,
And every flame I lit too quickly, quickly died,
The friends I made all seemed somehow to drift away,
And only I am left on stage to end the play

There are so many songs in me that won't be sung,
I feel the bitter taste of tears upon my tongue,
The time has come for me to pay,
For yesterday, when I was young

Episodes: 
111 "The Roy Clark Show"

Brotherhood of Life Song

(Sung by Felix and several monks)

Brotherhood of Life that is our name
Contemplation and reflection, yes that is our game
If you're feeling beat
Come to our retreat
And you'll surely meet someone who feels the same
And who'll ignore your former pessimiz *
Undemanding, understanding, yes that's all there is
If you want to live
Then you've got to give
Your fellow man a helping hand
And he will probably offer his

*Note from the webmaster: I have no idea what a "pessimiz" is, but that is the correct lyric according to the book Still Odd After All These Years.

Episodes: 
052 "The Odd Monks"

Felix's 'You Saved My Life' Song

(Sung by Felix to Oscar)

O is for the oldest friend I know
S is for the way he saved my life
C is for courage and
A is the alertness that he showed
R means risk and he took a big one
M-A-D is what he gets at me, but
I feel like an
S-O-N to him
Da da da da da da da, that's Oscar Madison, he's big daddy to us all!

Episodes: 
041 "You Saved My Life"

Felix's Calypso Song

(Sung by Felix)

Once there was a man named Oscar
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)
And he turned on his best friend
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)

The friend put a curse on Oscar's head
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)
The gods came down and struck Oscar dead
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)

Once there was a man named Jesse
(Jesse, Jesse, Jesse)
He wore his clothes very messy
(Messy Messy Jesse)
(Jesse, Jesse, Messy Messy Jesse)
(Jesse, Jesse, Messy Messy Jesse)

Episodes: 
037 "Felix, the Calypso Singer"

Felix's Campaign Song For Oscar

(Sung by Felix)

Oscar Madison for council
He is A-OK
His enthusiasm mounts till
The election day
Never frowning, always smiling
Oscar cannot miss
Cute and sweet and so beguiling
A face you'd love to kiss

Episodes: 
099 "The Odd Candidate"

Felix's Dog Poem

(Felix wrote and recited this poem)

My heart will always cherish
That cheerful, happy sound
And my love will never perish
For my faithful basset hound.

Episodes: 
051 "The Pen is Mightier than the Pencil"

Felix's Opera Club Song

(Sung by Felix's opera club to Oscar)

Glory unto Oscar Madison
Here's our thank you, now that our work is done
Glory and bravo to Oscar M.
He wrote out a check
He stuck out his neck
He's the best of them
Oscar Madison, Oscar Madison, Oscar Madison!

Episodes: 
065 "The Hustler"

Felix's Poem to Miriam

(Felix wrote this poem for Miriam)

Your glowing eyes, your smiling face
Your every move so filled with grace
And when sad fate doth make us part, part, part
You'll live forever within my heart, heart, heart

Episodes: 
051 "The Pen is Mightier than the Pencil"

Happy and Peppy and Bursting With Love

(Felix wrote this song in episode 78, "The Songwriter")

Happy and peppy and bursting with love,
Dancing and singing to heavens above,
Jumping and rolling like a little pup,
If they knock me down, I'm gonna bounce back up.

Happy and peppy and feeling so swell,
I'm gonna answer when I hear the bell,
I'll knock down defeat with fury ferocious
Happy, precocious and swell.

Episodes: 
078 "The Songwriter"

Just Hello

(This poem appeared on a pillow that Oscar bought, which Felix read aloud)

I'd like to be with you a while and hear about the folks
I'd like to sit & see you smile at the same old jokes
But since you are so fay away I cannot hope to go
I'll send along this little token just to say hello

Episodes: 
069 "Take My Furniture, Please"

Ode to a Skyscraper

(Felix wrote and recited this poem in episode 51, "The Pen is Mightier than the Pencil")

Born of the rubble that lies there
Nurtured through snow and through rain
By men whose only companions
Are derrick, and shovel, and crane.
Center for great institutions
Place where conglomerates grow
Yet home for the little cigar shop
With the candies all in a row.
Seven-seven-seven they will call you.
Towards heaven, heaven, heaven you will soar.
Only God can make a tree, I will grant you
But only man can make a fortieth floor.

Episodes: 
051 "The Pen is Mightier than the Pencil"

Oscar's Square Dance

(Oscar improvised calling a square dance, to the tune of "Turkey in the Straw")

Lead with your left, then lead with your right
Stand up, sit down, fight fight fight!
Then grab your foot, hop up and down
Shooby-doo, sit on the ground
Bend way over, touch your toe
Shuffle off to Buffalo
Grab your partner, drop your socks
A dozen bagels, a pound of lox
Shave and a haircut, two bits!

Episodes: 
098 "Strike Up the Band...or Else"

Paul Williams' Song For Edna

(Paul Williams sang this song to Edna. It was based on a note that Felix had asked him to give to Edna.)

And even though I'm not around to pick you up the times you're down
You know I think about you each and every day
And though I feel a love for you that's always growing, always new
The things I'm quick to feel I'm sometimes slow to say
And so I lay awake at night and worry, are you hungry, are you warm?
For there's nothing in this world too good for you
And then I turn around and make a list of things that you can't have
I only hope my good intentions still show through
You know the ones who love you expect the most from you

Once I held a perfect baby, you slept soundly in my arms
Now a woman is awakening in you
And I'll probably be jealous when your first love comes along
I guess that calls for extra understanding too
We'll order up a cup of tolerance for two
You know the ones who love you expect the most from you

Episodes: 
101 "The Paul Williams Show"

To A Chum

(Felix wrote this poem for Oscar)

There are times when you may feel lonely
There are times when you may feel glum
But those times will not last if you only
Have a buddy, a comrade, a chum

Episodes: 
051 "The Pen is Mightier than the Pencil"

To A Sour Kraut

(Felix sang this song, which he wrote while in the army)

Let's hit Hitler where he lives
America never forgives
Let's force him to surrender
In incendiary splendor
Let's hit Hitler where he lives

Episodes: 
078 "The Songwriter"