This page provides the lyrics to some original poems and songs that have been performed on the Odd Couple. Page 2 has the lyrics to previously existing songs that were sung on the show.
[No title]
(Felix sang this song in episode 37, "Felix the Calypso Singer")
Once there was a man named Oscar
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)
And he turned on his best friend
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)
The friend put a curse on Oscar's head
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)
The gods came down and struck Oscar dead
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)
(Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar)
Once there was a man named Jesse
(Jesse, Jesse, Jesse)
He wore his clothes very messy
(Messy Messy Jesse)
(Jesse, Jesse, Messy Messy Jesse)
(Jesse, Jesse, Messy Messy Jesse)
[No title]
(Felix wrote this song in episode 41, "You Saved My Life")
O is for the oldest friend I know
S is for the way he saved my life
C is for courage and
A is the alertness that he showed
R means risk and he took a big one
M-A-D is what he gets at me, but
I feel like an
S-O-N to him
Da da da da da da da, that's Oscar Madison, he's big daddy to us all!
Ode to a Skyscraper
(Felix wrote this poem in episode 51, "The Pen is Mightier than the
Pencil")
Born of the rubble that lies there
Nurtured through snow and through rain
By men whose only companions
Are derrick, and shovel, and crane.
Center for great institutions
Place where conglomerates grow
Yet home for the little cigar shop
With the candies all in a row.
Seven-seven-seven they will call you.
Towards heaven, heaven, heaven you will soar.
Only God can make a tree, I will grant you
But only man can make a fortieth floor.
[No title]
(Felix wrote this poem for Miriam in episode 51, "The Pen is Mightier
than the Pencil")
Your glowing eyes, your smiling face
Your every move so filled with grace
And when sad fate doth make us part, part, part
You'll live forever within my heart, heart, heart
To a Chum
(Felix wrote this poem for Oscar in episode 51, "The Pen is Mightier
than the Pencil")
There are times when you may feel lonely
There are times when you may feel glum
But those times will not last if you only
Have a buddy, a comrade, a chum
[No title]
(Oscar wrote this poem in episode 51, "The Pen is Mightier than the
Pencil")
My heart will always cherish
That cheerful, happy sound
And my love will never perish
For my faithful basset hound.
[No title]
(Felix and several monks sang this song in episode 52, "The Odd Monks")
Brotherhood of Life that is our name
Contemplation and reflection, yes that is our game
If you're feeling beat
Come to our retreat
And you'll surely meet someone who feels the same
And who'll ignore your former pessimiz *
Undemanding, understanding, yes that's all there is
If you want to live
Then you've got to give
Your fellow man a helping hand
And he will probably offer his
*Note from the webmaster: I have no idea what a "pessimiz" is, but that is the correct lyric according to the book Still Odd After All These Years.
[No title]
(Felix's opera club sang this song to Oscar in episode 56, "The Hustler")
Glory unto Oscar Madison
Here's our thank you, now that our work is done
Glory and bravo to Oscar M.
He wrote out a check
He stuck out his neck
He's the best of them
Oscar Madison, Oscar Madison, Oscar Madison!
Just Hello
(This poem appeared on a pillow that Oscar bought in episode 69, "Take My Furniture, Please")
I'd like to be with you a while and hear about the folks
I'd like to sit & see you smile at the same old jokes
But since you are so fay away I cannot hope to go
I'll send along this little token just to say hello
Happy and Peppy and Bursting with Love
(Felix wrote this song in episode 78, "The Songwriter")
Happy and peppy and bursting with love,
Dancing and singing to heavens above,
Jumping and rolling like a little pup,
If they knock me down, I'm gonna bounce back up.
Happy and peppy and feeling so swell,
I'm gonna answer when I hear the bell,
I'll knock down defeat with fury ferocious
Happy, precocious and swell.
To a Sour Kraut
(Felix wrote this song when he was in the army, and sang it in episode
78, "The Songwriter")
Let's hit Hitler where he lives
America never forgives
Let's force him to surrender
In incendiary splendor
Let's hit Hitler where he lives
[No title - to the tune of "Turkey in the Straw"]
(Oscar called this square dance in episode 98, "Strike up the Band...Or
Else")
Lead with your left, then lead with your right
Stand up, sit down, fight fight fight!
Then grab your foot, hop up and down
Shooby-doo, sit on the ground
Bend way over, touch your toe
Shuffle off to Buffalo
Grab your partner, drop your socks
A dozen bagels, a pound of lox
Shave and a haircut, two bits!
[No title - to the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad"]
(Felix sang this song while campaigning for Oscar in episode 99, "The
Odd Candidate")
Oscar Madison for council
He is A-OK
His enthusiasm mounts till
The election day
Never frowning, always smiling
Oscar cannot miss
Cute and sweet and so beguiling
A face you'd love to kiss
[No title]
(Paul Williams sang this song to Edna, in episode 101, "The Paul
Williams Show." It was based on a note that Felix had asked him to give
to Edna.)
And even though I'm not around to pick you up the times you're down
You know I think about you each and every day
And though I feel a love for you that's always growing, always new
The things I'm quick to feel I'm sometimes slow to say
And so I lay awake at night and worry, are you hungry, are you warm?
For there's nothing in this world too good for you
And then I turn around and make a list of things that you can't have
I only hope my good intentions still show through
You know the ones who love you expect the most from you
Once I held a perfect baby, you slept soundly in my arms
Now a woman is awakening in you
And I'll probably be jealous when your first love comes along
I guess that calls for extra understanding too
We'll order up a cup of tolerance for two
You know the ones who love you expect the most from you
This page was last updated on March 13, 2005.